The phoenix is a mythical bird from Greek mythology. A phoenix cyclically regenerates or is somehow “born again.” This rebirth happens through a miraculous process by which a phoenix rises from its own ashes, emerging as a stronger version of itself every time.
Our colors are the colors of sunset and sunrise. Of dusk and dawn. Those moments can look the exact same. What looks like the end of the day, could be a brand new morning. And in my life, every time I believed it was the end of me, it was actually a brand new beginning.
I believe that the challenging times in life and the mistakes we have made are not a liability, but are actually our greatest strength. In January 2015, I arrived at our studio to audition to teach with nineteen days clean and sober from a drug and alcohol addiction that had plagued me for fifteen years. I had taken a three-hour bus ride from Vista to Encinitas with a pair of beat up spin shoes in a Vons bag, a government-issued (welfare) flip phone, and an iPod with playlists that stopped suddenly in 2010. The odds were against me. I had been a well-known and respected instructor before, but I had admittedly done a lot of damage...to my body and my reputation. Despite the odds, I got a job teaching one class a week. From there, my schedule grew and my relationships with clients flourished.
Those early days and months were not easy. Hauling my gym bag to and from bus stops in hot weather, in cold weather, in the rain...making playlists and planning classes and choreography under covers with a flashlight so as not to disturb the other girls in the shared sober living rooms I lived in...convincing a bank to give me a checking account again. The list of obstacles I faced is long - but I don’t need to list them all because the details don’t really matter. We all face challenges. It’s part of the human experience.
How did I manage my challenges and find the strength to keep going? Getting physical.
I had started to believe I was the mistakes I had made. However, every time I clipped my shoes into the bike pedals and started to move my body, the limitations I felt as I moved through the world outside of the spin room began to melt away. Each physical triumph elevated my spirit a little more and allowed me to walk out of the studio with my head a little higher. When I was in the spin room and connected to the music and my breathing and the people around me, I was able to quiet the incessant inner voice of self-doubt and fear. When that voice got quieter, my true voice started to come through. My confidence returned. I started making choices more in alignment with my values.
That was how I began to rebuild my life from ashes.
A few years later, I met and married my husband Scuyler. And in August 2019, just four years after arriving on the bus for that audition, my husband and I purchased and took ownership of the studio.
I had been a good instructor before...I’ve always had a natural athletic ability and an ear for music. But this time around, my instructing is different. I don’t just teach with my body, I teach with my soul.
I am so happy to be here.
I am so happy to be alive and healthy and able to move my body and help you move yours...it is an honor to live this life and share these moments with you.
So come along with me...let’s listen to music and breathe and sweat and overcome and transform...together.